I hate the phrase “knock on wood”
I despise the phrase “Knock on wood.” It was only ever tolerable when sung by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. If you’re among those in the cockpit who’ve said, “I’ve never had an engine fire or a hydraulic leak. Wait, let me knock on…” and then scoured the cockpit for wood, you may remember the courtesy smile I gave you. I detest that phrase. I’m going to use it anyway. So far, the formula for keeping peace with a newborn has been pretty simple. I’m seeking some wood to knock on, amending my hatred for that phrase. If you’re in a place without wood, there will be no knocking—I just used air quotes. If I ever share a room with you on the International Space Station and catch you searching for some hardwood flooring after saying, “All this time and the toilet hasn’t backed up once,” I might kick you in the shins. Forget the knocking! I’ll declare it loud and boastfully, proudly tempting fate! Keeping peace with a newborn has been straightforward so far. When he cries, there are only […]