fatherhood

Avoiding the Dad Stereotype

Mr. Mom (1983) Directed by Stan Dragoti Shown: Michael Keaton It’s been nearly seven years that I became a dad.Seven years and I’ve done the best I could to avoid being the bumbling dad stereotype on tv shows. You know the one. He pours orange juice in his coffee and puts sticks of butter in their lunchboxes.I’m the modern dad.I wore the baby.I carried his diapers in my back pocket and bottles in my backpack.(Blue bottle = formula. Red = White Russian.)I went to Mommy and Me.He’s starting first grade and I’ve made it without knocking back the dad cause or erasing the gains my fellow dads have made.We changed Amazon Mom to Amazon Family!I’ve carried the flag well I hope.Except for that one time.I was tired. It was early.He was just beginning to make recognizable sounds.I was just learning to ignore him.We were rushing out the door for daycare and I was knocking things off my before takeoff checklist.Never rush a checklist.I was calling out the items from memory and he was finding his voice.It was white noise to […]

On Father’s Day

I used to give lip service on Father’s Day. Cards were sent and thanks were given and the love was spread around as abundantly and efficiently as I could spread it. But I’m not sure I really meant it. And then I became a Dad and realized that my life was no longer about me anymore and I began to appreciate the sacrifices my Father and stepfather accepted to raise me. They shaped the man and father that I am today. My buddy offered a simple line of advice before I became a dad. He, having already tread into this new world said, “It’s no longer about us anymore.” And it’s not. The time I give to myself or my wife is the time between all the times when my son is my first priority. I remember that line on those rushed days when I look down to the smiling boy holding my hand and see that he’s well fed and bathed and smells good and is comfortable and relaxed and I’ve not eaten, rested or had my own visit

Eight Years Ago We Wed – Since Then, I Became an Adult

For years now (more than a decade of them) a friend and I have been playing the “who’s the first to become an adult game”. It started in college and was simply a game that would define the moment when you became a man. You entered adulthood when you bought frames for your posters or purchased a box spring for your mattress were common life-changing events of the time. As we aged, those moments became more mature scenarios like drafting a will, buying life insurance or having your first hernia operation. This summer when my wife and I took a trip abroad without our toddler I realized I had officially become a man. The moment I recognized I was helpless to the person whose life depended on me. Across the ocean and in capable hands he was safe and secure but still I appreciated at that moment what it means to have grown up. Having someone depend on you and allowing yourself to feel absolutely responsible for their safety and security. Eight years ago, I became a husband and was

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