customer service – Skywritings

I got some lip from a ROBOT

September 21, 2008

I called to check on room availabilities at a few hotels in Towson for my parents’ visit next month. Google, of course, gave me a few pushpins just a few miles up the road, so I started calling. What’s amazing is that with each call to the front desks, I was redirected to a call center somewhere else to field my questions on room rates and availabilities. I’m a mile away asking a question to a lady who could be my neighbor, and soon I’m talking to someone on another part of the world who pronounces Baltimore wrong. On one call, I was connected to Lilly, who spoke remarkably crisply and quite lovely. She asked the standard questions, and when it was my turn to respond, my questions were standard as well. “I’m wondering if you have any rooms for the weekend of October 4th?” “That weekend. Let me check. I am checking. Yes, we have a standard suite available with one king bed and an attached living room for a rate of $116 a night, with cancellation up until […]

LOST AND FOUND POETRY AT 37000 FEET

I took a walk to the back of the plane in flight today to pee. This is something I try not to do too often, and it’s called the “Walk of Shame” for good reason. First of all, it requires getting up. After sitting for so long strapped to an airplane seat, that’s pretty tough to do, not because of muscle atrophy or sleeping blood vessels, but because you get so damned lazy and lethargic. To make the trip, though, you have to get a crewmember up front to fill your seat while you’re gone. The doors are bulletproof now, and they figure it’s best not to have one guy locked up front by himself with the other in the back. They always want two bodies up front at all times—so if one passes out dead, the other can still open the door. The awkwardness of leaving the cockpit and walking by all the folks, with them wondering who in the hell is flying the plane, is the big reason why I don’t care too much for taking the “Walk