I was on vacation during the month of July. I ceased all work related activities. I also didn’t… It was a blissful month away from the airport. I return to the cockpit tomorrow. I just hope they didn’t move any of the buttons around.
In many ways… Hollywood’s depiction of airline life is completely wrong. In some ways it’s spot on and I claim those scenes as just another day at the office. My ownership to what scene I sell as truth depends on the audience I’m with. If I’m sitting with guys and it’s a pilot surrounded by beautiful ladies at a bar listening intently to him tell stories I’ll say, “Yep, they nailed it!” If I’m with my mom who gets anxious about my flying and a scene is on where the pilot calmly cheats death by flying inverted through a storm because the elevator has lost effectiveness I’ll say, “Yep, they nailed it.” Most of the time though flying movies make me laugh. I’m sure all industries are critical of the movie studios depiction of their profession but films with airplanes on the poster can be so comical about it. I can’t imagine a bunch of pipe fitters laughing at plumbing movies as much as pilots do about cockpit scenes. But imitation is the sincerest form of flattery so I guess
My work life and home life collided yesterday when my son complained that his toy Hess helicopter wasn’t working as it was supposed to. “My helicopter won’t fly anymore!” It never flew. The blades spun. It lit up. It made lots noise. But it never flew. In his world, it did though. And now it did not. The batteries were dead. Naturally, they died while we were in the car. Away from fresh batteries. I suggested maybe we should take it to the helicopter doctor. In hindsight… this wasn’t the best approach. Although I liked the sound of helicopter doctor and it sounded pretty damned cute when he said it, it got pretty old when he refused to do anything but go to the helicopter doctor. “I think maybe the doctor is not in today.” I said. “I want to go to the helicopter doctor.” “Actually, they are not accepting new patients at the moment. I called last week for Mommy’s helicopter.” “I want to go to the helicopter doctor now!” “There is no such thing as a helicopter doctor!
Since the beginning, there have always been two pilots up on the flight deck. Had it not been for the Wright Brothers, maybe we’d only have one seat up there. It’s a common misconception that the First Officer (commonly referred to as the copilot in the movies or ‘gear monkey’ in real life) isn’t really a pilot. This is false. They are just as qualified as the Captain. The real question though is… are they essential? This takes us back to the Wright Brothers. Pilots are narcissists who need an audience. We need someone to laugh at our jokes and make us feel important. We need someone to entertain us when we get tired of monitoring the autopilot. We also need someone to humbly do the dirty work so we can keep our hands clean. This need for validation is what encouraged the Wright Brothers to take to the skies in the first place. That and sibling rivalry. The day Orville beat Wilbur in a bike race is the day Wilbur said, “Oh yeah! I’m gonna put wings on a
We obviously spend lots of time around the humans. We are in the service industry after all. Day in and day out we spend our time carrying you, your loved ones, your bags and your ‘service animals’ from here to there with ease. We do this with a smile on our face. Not because we get paid exorbitant amounts of money to do so but because we love it. It’s in our blood. Even though the means of travel have changed, the drivers and their staff have stayed the same. “All aboard!” I shout from the cockpit window up to the terminal waving my Captain’s hat through the morning fog while confirming the departure time on my gold pocket watch. Children watch with their noses to the window wondering what far off land I will be steering this magical flying machine to. My passengers are waving from their windows as we sail away. Except for the ones in steerage. They are angry. But while times have changed, I wonder if the passengers have remained the same? Did they make small
This article was floating around Facebook today explaining why it is imperative you land a pilot. 6 reasons to be exact. Since I am a pilot, I figured I’d explain my reasoning why scoring a Jet Captain should be on your to-do list. While you may find a man irresistible who gets paid to strap himself to a hurtling piece of metal for a living think about this: that same man safely brings that metal back down to Earth while dodging birds, kites, and the occasional errant birthday party balloon. How sexy it must be to imagine him in the cockpit driving the airplane to the gate as quickly and safely as possible because he needs to use the restroom after pounding coffee for the last few hours. Even though these notions are enticing enough, let me tell you other down-to-earth reasons why dating a pilot is a real treat. And if you’re so lucky to marry one, I’ll tell you the secrets you have in store for you. I should know. I am a pilot. If you’re into jet
I’m not gonna go into all the obvious hazards of flying likes skin cancer, alcoholism, divorce and controlled flight into terrain. Those have been covered before. It’s the day to day stuff that is killing me. It’s not the job… it’s the lifestyle. Although I may only fly a few hours a day, if I am away from home, I am working. I am working even when I am sitting in a hotel bed flipping through the channels with an ice bucket bag over the remote so my fingers don’t have to touch it. I am working when I am wandering around an airport not getting paid looking for a place to hide from passengers so I can read without getting hassled about where to buy a neck pillow or pick up luggage. I am also working when I’m risking life and limb in the back of a hotel van with a driver too old to operate a toaster oven – especially when the kitchen floor is iced over. Since the career I have chosen for myself is a lifestyle
As the new year approaches it’s time to evaluate accomplishments from the past year and set goals for the next. While I succeed each year with many of my Xbox-related achievements, I think 2013 will be more about work and what I bring to the cockpit. Across the aviation industry, morale is low and tempers are quick to flare. In order to ease relationships between us, the flight crews, and our liaisons in the company, dispatchers, I resolve to do what I can to ease the tension. One of my 2013 New years resolutions is going to be to send all ACARS messages from the cockpit to dispatch as a haiku. Weather has gone downFuel burning onto reservesRound and round we hold Before social media, hidden panels in the cockpit were our Twitter. Still, those panels are a private place where people anonymously gossip about coworkers and spread rumors. In 2013, I Intended to erase all the graffiti on the flight deck and replace the negative passages was positive messages. Something like, ”There is a pretty good chance a kid
My job as a pilot is made much easier by checklists and routines. I do the same thing – the same way – every time. Checklists are written in a way that is intended to flow logically as we set up the cockpit for each phase of flight. It’s the times when something upsets that flow that checklist items are missed. You’re midway through a taxi checklist, and a radio call breaks the cadence of the “challenge and response,” and it’s easier (and safer) to start over rather than stumble back into it. My life has become a series of checklists. I’m not sure if I was made for aviation or if a career in aviation has made me the way I am. When I’m on a trip, each day I do the same thing – the same way – every time. My evening ritual in the hotel has been modified slowly over the years to become the most efficient it can be. I check into my room and immediately strip the garnish bedspread off the bed and lay out
