In a surprise move, Doctor Henderson of Manhattan’s faith-based “Restore Heterosexuality – Gay Conversion Center” has decided to turn 180 degrees and is now offering a heterosexuality conversion course. “The science is in,” says Henderson. “Studies have proven you just can’t convert gay people to a straight lifestyle. During my years of attempting to do
I recently read Auto Biography by Earl Swift in which he retraces all the owners of a ’57 Chevy and it’s had me thinking about my first car. It was a 1969 Plymouth Barracuda. I unwrapped it in the Fall of 1990. Twenty one years after it rolled off the assembly line. It was a cool
The meetings are held in the basement of a church near an all-night donut shop. Although both are helpful, the location is more about the donuts than the man upstairs. The chairs are arranged in a circle. The donuts are placed on an end table in the middle. They are a focal point. The embers
Years back, when my wife said she wanted chickens, I agreed as long as I could build the coop. Actually, I said no for years and finally caved when I started lurking in the dark corners of the internet and learned about automated chicken coops. I’ve always spent time in the dark corners of the
It’s been twenty years since I was a college student, and I returned this past weekend as an alumnus to preach the airline life. These kids on campus now are just that—kids! Many were born after I started college. Not only could I be their father, but I could also be the father to their
With the luxury of non-revenue travel also comes the joy of spontaneous adventure. Our trip to India would begin with either a flight from Newark into Delhi or Mumbai. We had tentatively prepared an itinerary around Delhi being our entry point, but when that flight was full and we were able to score the last
In high school, I could eat! I was a growing boy, always hungry and never gaining weight. I felt invincible, or so I thought. There was (and maybe still is) a restaurant in Tampa that offered a six-pound challenge: ninety-six ounces of beef for the willing. Eat it all, and the table eats for free.
After college, or maybe it was during, I had a job for about a year as an overnight DJ at an adult contemporary AM radio station in Southern Virginia. Actually, it wasn’t just an AM station. It was, and still is, AM stereo, which, at the time, had been struggling to gain a foothold ever
On days when the air is still and fog forms over a river, it looks like the Great Wall of China is snaking its way across the Earth. Since many state lines overlay rivers, each state is safely protected from their neighbor—unless you’re driving a VW, which can safely pass through. When I was driving
Well, The Flaming Lips show in Philadelphia turned into “A bit of a bath – a big bath” (to quote the Woodstock documentary – although theirs was in reference to the bath the promoters would take upon getting the bill for the festival.)Although we had a nice evening and some great Indian cuisine downtown with
This was our third leg for the day. We began in Omaha around 2 PM, flew from Omaha to Milwaukee, and then off to Boston. On the return from Boston to Milwaukee, we ended up holding over Grand Rapids for 30 minutes before we made the decision to divert to Indianapolis for more fuel. Holding
I once quit a job without giving two weeks’ notice. I quit after my lunch break. The boss wasn’t surprised at all. I think she even wondered why it took so long like it was a bet amongst the bosses. Each day that went by with me still on the line was another nickel in
Press Play I found this CD in the gutter up the street the other day while out walking the dog. Apparently, Emily has moved on. The disk may have fallen out of her car but I think she frisbee’d it out the window and it bounced off a tree. From what I can gather… she’s
I called to check on room availabilities at a few hotels in Towson for my parents’ visit next month. Google, of course, gave me a few pushpins just a few miles up the road, so I started calling. What’s amazing is that with each call to the front desks, I was redirected to a call
With her off for the summer, I ‘bid’ to have some weeks off with her. I was awarded six weeks from the end of June through early August. Eager to kick the summer off, I asked for—and was granted—a drop of a trip at the end of June that leads up to my vacation. Now,
We went to the opening night of The Simpsons Movie. THE opening night. The midnight showing at select theaters. First of all—movie = awesome. But it was the crowd that made it exceptionally fun. Laugh Out Loud Funny. One of the treats of the episodes is that there is no laugh track, so they can
I often watch in amazement as gate agents in airports can so blatantly blow off our passengers in their time of need. I know there are plenty of times when there is nothing they can do to rectify the situation, but I’m sure a little compassion would make the hard news easier to swallow. Often,
A four-day trip the week of Thanksgiving took me to Columbus, Ohio. Since I was to spend the holiday alone in the hotel, S. decided to drive up from visiting her grandparents in Pittsburgh. She had our cousin Troy with her, so we figured we’d play in Ohio for the night and let him see
